Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize