She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
