I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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