So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
