Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
