I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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