quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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