Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
