What a fucking waste of an outfit
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
