Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
