my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
