Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
