i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
