I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
