No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
now i know why i became what i already was.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
