Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my shit smells like andre
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
