That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize