I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
