Fine. I'll sleep in my office
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think I won the penis lottery.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
