no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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