He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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