your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
