The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
