super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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