we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
