Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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