Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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