So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
