I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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