Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
that is very illegal...i love you.
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