Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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