If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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