After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
