do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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