there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize