it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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