Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
