her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
