The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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