yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
