So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
