Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
