That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
