WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
