I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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