i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
