bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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