It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
