i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize