Me too!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
