Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
