I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
