i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
