Don't you send me to vm
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
