3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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