make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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