why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I need a beard to bite.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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