She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We talked him into tasing himself.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
