Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
