dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
