i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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