I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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