I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
