y did u give ur computer a hand job?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
