I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
