whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
